The MC lasted 2,5 hours instead of 50 minutes. I dont know if she is good but she is one of those that want the Ms to help. SO that least is in favour of our sitch.
I did state everything I wanted. He admitted he is AFRAID of me, of my anger AND grief. He said he cant handle it and prefers to stay out of my way just to maintain "peace". Tension and gridlocks and dead ends and issues coming out from everywhere. She said we both need IC. Me for my anger, H to deal with his problem of handling any kind of emotions and connection and not being able to take action.
I first heard that for him a big issue was that in 2005 I expressed I was tired of the kids and my life and wanted some kind of break (not from him, from my life). Back then it took him one paragraph email and one discussion to "calm me" down. So, I guess, I did what all LBSs say the wish their WAss had done, expressed my stress and allowed him to help me. For me that was a non issue, I dont even consider it a crisis. For him...well, it seems it made an impact on him.
I dont know if it was good or bad. I do know that the second hour he was ACTUALLY talking. Which is BIG. I was crying on and off. Especially when he was stating all the reasons he thinks we are worth the effort and all the reasons that we drfited apart. I was astonished. It was like listening to me 3 years ago. Every single phrase was identical to mine. He even said I am negative and cold and dont leave room for us to make it... The C said "why are you crying Maria?". I answered that it is ironic that 3 years later I hear my exact words and I am not thrilled. I am just sad.
I am disapopinted that I cant stay calm. That the hurt maybe in the way of us right now. I dont know what else I could do. Anyway, we'll see how it goes... Have a nice weekend friends!!! K
