Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

That would normally be a valid perception, but let me explain. Years ago when things were good, we made the decision to push my career over hers. She was just going to make it to retirement and get out. I offered the opposite, I was willing to leave the military then, she wanted nothing to do with that. In fact, she almost got out, was just a couple of singatures away from leaving the military.

Because of that, things have been set in motion. I have received the jobs that lead one to greater potential. She has a very respectable career, very above average, but is not on the track that I am on. That is reality. She knows it, I know it. I think these days it bothers her. It never used too.

Her self esteem was lower when we were first married. I have actually tried to help her with that. I have been very encouraging about how smart she is, how well she does at work, etc...thru all the years. Doing very well in her military career has really helped her self esteem and pulled it up, but I think there are still a few lingering issues there...that's why I say a little low, but not terrible.

Still think I have a bar that is causing issues, if so please explain, please help me work past that.