Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

R22 - let me answer your questions and then please let me know what you think.
- She does care about the kids, that has changed. She is genuinely upset/bothered/unhappy with her time with the kids but she is so addicted to work right now + the EA that for some reason she can't make herself give more time. Then she feels bad about it. It isn't all EA, there is some truth about her being addicted to work, it is combo of the two.
- She has never been a flirtatious person and she has not needed male attention in the past. She has not been flirtatious since the long distance EA started either.
- Her self esteem is a little low but not rock bottom low, a little lower than it should be, but not real bad
- She blames me that I let her down, she got angry, got tired, decided to see if she deserved better and could do better and bam, here is the OM while I am not around
- She might be somewhat of a secret romance junkie - I don't know - I didn't fill that need enough to know if she needs a little or is a junkie. I realize that now

Whether or not she is being honest with me about the EA, who knows. Rest of my answers are from me, from knowing my W over the years, I didn't completely ignore her like she paints the picture these days.

So..what do you think/recommend?