The scary thing about your wife's EA is that it seems she doesn't care at all about the kids. Hopefully she will consider IC, yet in IC she can also get on a track of obsessing about not getting her needs met romantically. Depends if you think she is a secret love or romance junkie or just grew depressed or disillusioned and needy and then got targeted by this guy. If she is a love junkie, she will have to solve that for herself or be chasing it the rest of her life. I would be wary of staying involved with someone whose self esteem needs were met through flirting. Did she flirt or need a lot of male attention in the past? Did she have low self esteem? Or does she just act like you let her down and blame her EA on you? I'm not sure how you would get a sense if she's being honest with you or herself.
