Cutter I am so very sorry. You helped me through a lot and this is how I repay you? This is something i have been carrying for years, maybe my whole life. This was probably the deepest darkest secret i have. I am ashamed, disgusted, disappointed with myself.
I do not know who i am. Getting help? What for? So i can one day become weak again and do it to someone else? This has to be my greatest fear come to life. I dont deserve help. I deserve to live with this punishment. The pain i have caused does not need to be fixed, it needs to consume me like it consumed others. THere is no forgiveness for this. There is no coming back from this. There is only pain. Pain that I deserve. I am not better than the people that have harmed you. I am the worst kind of liar. The one that believes his own lies. Hate me because i deserve to be hated.
