Wife wants best of both worlds

[MHL]

I think she is being very insensitive and not very responsible. I am not willing to date, since legally I cannot marry right now, and she knows this (its ashame she does not feel this way). So I am partially venting here but am also looking for some input.

DW,
Of course she is insensitive and not very responsible, no surprises here, right? Also, is there another person in the picture for you that you might be interest in? If so do things with them but keep it friendly and non-physical. If there is not anyone then it really doesn't matter whether the divorce is final or not, right? Are you looking for a piece of paper (the divorce decree) to move on or GAL?

These are are all rhetorical questions and not meant to frustrate you further but none of us want a divorce, right. Many of the success stories I have read the WAS gets up to the point of the divorce and pulls back and starts to realize the affect of their actions. Could be she is still thinking about it and will decide to go through with it or maybe she will decide not to do it and let it die. I think your course of action is, no action. If she had never started the D process you would be in the same sitch, right? Keep on DBing and act-as-if you are unphased by this, don't bring it up either.

She still hasn't mentioned anything about OM to kids, right?

My S9 asked my W last night why she hasn't come home yet. My W responded to him that she is "confused". Not trying to read anything into this yet but obviously she is avoiding the reality of what she is doing and explaining it to him. I think your W is in the same place. Welcome to Limbo Land, it sucks for us and our kids but we both know this is a long process not a short one. Did you read the stages of an MLCer, I posted directions in my thread.