I sense you are getting tired of the situation with your W not considering you as part of her future.
I want to pass on something I did that other posters strongly disagreed with when I was in newcomers. However, my wife told me that it was huge and very sentimental for her. She said that she looked at it often (maybe she still does) and I believe that it was a big influence over time as to her asking for a second chance. There were other factors that possibly contributed to her wanting to try again. For her it was missing family time together, missing me, pressure from the kids and wanting to save face in front of her friends and family. Actions that I did that contributed were standing up for my dignity, gaining emotional strength, happiness through GAL, continuing to be a good father who did many activities with the kids, filing for the D, getting a girlfriend, dropping the rope/not caring about our marriage anymore.
The non-DB thing I did was to spend a good amount of time with Digital Image Pro to create a beautiful photo collage album of pictures of the two of us together. There were some pictures also of us as a family mixed in. Every picture was a cherished memory of our marriage together. And in the middle of each page, I put in a line from a song. The first song was "Love" by John Lennon and the second song was "Just the Way You Are" by Billy Joel. I also created a music CD for her that contained "our songs" that we enjoyed together during our marriage.
I remember that I was told to not give it to her by posters on here as it was just another form of pressure and guilt. I showed it to my boss and it brought him to tears and he told me to give it to her. I never printed one for myself, but I still have it on my computer. Currently, I dont want to look at it as I dont desire to dredge up the past. Maybe 5 or more years from now I may reminisce about our marriage, but now is not the time.
I dont know if it is worth you trying something like this as I had done it early on in my situation. If you do, and your W does not have a change of heart later on, you still could consider it a gift that your W could look back on occasionally as she moves forward in life.
You really dont have much else to lose considering that you suck at detaching and applying the basic divorce busting principles.
