Can any good come out of giving W some "space"

[brknheart]

Update:

So, I woke up depressed again today (typical). I felt like seeing my pets, so I headed to my house 2 hours away. My W and I already agreed on who gets what, property and pets. I went to pick up a few other things, since I dont plan on moving out until next weekend. I gathered my things and the 2 cats, txted her that I was at the house to get some things and the cats. She freaked. Why did I txt her? Because I wanted to give her at least a heads up. She txt back saying no, can I wait. I said wait for what. She called, crying saying that she cant believe I can be so cold and take the cats without her saying goodbye. I have to admit, I felt guilty about it but at the same time she has been ice cold to me for the past 4 mths. She asked if I could wait till she gets off of work. I didnt even say anything until she started screaming that things can get dirty, we can get lawyers, take all the money, etc. She hung up. Next txt said that she knows I want to be mean to her and there was nothing she could do about it. Next she said she was on her way.

When she arrived, she was crying. Couldnt believe I could do such a thing. (Me, Mr Nice guy for the past 4 mths) She was also upset that I came to the house without her knowing. I told her this was my house also and I have every right to be here. We started talking about the D, when I was going to move, went over the separation agreement again, etc. She calmed down by this point. I said I already started to right up the documents for the mediator and asked her to email me the things I needed from her. I was stern and assertive the entire time, no pleading or begging. I did ask her for an answer to my question the other day, why didnt see feel we could work on things last month. She said because she didnt love me anymore, cant love me again, and that whenever she thinks about us together she thinks about the 11 years of unhappiness. She also said she doesnt have it in her to try to make it work, to much time would have to be invested and would rather start with a clean slate on life. I didnt argue, said ok. She asked about my vacation, I told her how much fun I had and how much I liked the city. Its one of the places Im thinking about moving. We chit chatted about some other non R things. She started asking me how to do different things that I usually do, even asked me if I could right instructions for her. I laughed, said its not my job anymore, she would have to figure it out. I made plans to move my stuff, asked her not to be there. I also said I dont want to see her until we meet with the mediator. Whatever we need to do, email or txt.

Something weird happen today. I felt different, almost like I dont love/care for her like I did a week ago. I know I will most likely feel different tomorrow, but I think I may have had some closer today. At least I had some questions answered. I am accepting the fact that it is over and that the W I married doesnt exist anymore. I thought this way in Nov when I started detaching, it helped. She made a comment that I would be M again in a year, I laughed. I needed to do a few more things before I left, so I asked her to leave. She needed me out the house in 30 min, I took another hour or so...

So I feel better right now. On the way home I thought about my future, the possibilities. Did I do wrong today? I think not. I was tired of being Mr nice guy. I need to start thinking about myself. I started to make a plan for the next 2 weeks, meet with friends, join a gym, work on the documents for the mediator.

In the end though, it all comes down to the signing of the papers. I told her months ago that nothing is final until the papers are signed. She wants the D ASAP, wants to get it over, so ive accepted that it is truly over...