I dunno Sandi...she seems to be doing a pretty good job of living without me...her father is spreading the wealth and it apparently makes for good band-aids for her emotional wounds.
I'm beginning to think the signs I've seen arent really signs at all.
My SO told me that she didnt want things to be for our daughter the way they are for my SO and her sisters where their parents, who are divorced, cannot be in the same room together...making holidays and other special occasions chaotic to say the least.
So I am thinking that what I've seen may just be her wanting to get along and be friends for the sake of our daughter. Unless of course you or anyone else have seen simiar situations where this isnt necessarily the case?
How in the world will I be able to tell what her motivations are for any positive reactions out of her without asking and possibly causing her emotional wall to go back up?
If I havent already said it, it confuses and upsets me to no end how much guilt my SO has over her parents divorce and how much resentment she has towards her mother for leaving her father/breaking up their family, but she can't bring herself to see that she's essentially done the same thing to our daughter and our family. She even has the attitude that our daughter will be fine when she herself isnt fine about her own parents divorce.
Aside frome the possibility that our daughter may some day feel about my SO the way she feels about her own mother, theres the possibiltiy that our daughter will have increased difficulty in school, behavioral issues, higher risk of teen pregnancy, and trouble in her own relationships.
No, it's not a certainty...but with even the mere possibility, I just dont understand how someone could put their own needs above their childs.
It's tragic how powerful the fog is that can make some WAS's believe that they really have tried everything, that their partner will never change, and that kids will bounce back from this kind of thing.
