Looking for help with WAW

[mza8]

Sandi, thank you for continuing to check in on my sitch. To answer your questions, yes, I believe her weight loss has a lot to do with sitch. She was overweight in high school but not nearly as much as she became during our M. She always had a huge complex and insecurity about herself because of her weight. She did get very scared when diagnosed with diabetes last year. I'm sure she is feeling great about her new self. I believe she started to change about the time she was diagnosed last year and started losing the weight...about 9-10 months ago.

We belong to the same gym and have bumped into each ther at times so I'm not sure if she would take that chance to contact possible OM there. She usually goes to gym with her sister now. It's possible that she might be trying to reconnect with old HS friend on FB/internet. I guess if I knew for sure she was having a possible EA/PA it might change my goal of reconciliation with her...don't know for sure, would have to really think about that.

I did set a boundary that I wanted to stop the emails and at least begin to communicate via phone. She began calling me a couple of times today and no emails. We played phone tag and left each other messages, just about bills, etc. She was a bit upset in her second message about wanting to split up the bills ad she didn't want to pay for our joint bills. Her thinking right now is so messed up and she is not being fair with things. I am holding my ground though. In one of her emails this week and in one of her phone messages to me today she told me that we are both having a difficult time with this sitch. How is the world is she having a difficult time? She seems fine to me. Don't know why she said this twice this week?

I am leaving her alone and living each day for me now. Some days I feel like I'm losing my love for W and that worries me. I know how much I love my W but at times I'm not sure why at this point. I guess because I think that my W might still be in there somewhere. Still will never understand why she felt this way for a while and never told me. I was asked if I ever had a feeling my W felt this way and I knew we had stressed because of our outside circumstances but never thought there was a problem with our M...guess I was totally clueless...