Re: H moving out. I told H when he left to take what he needed cuz he wasn't welcomed to in and out privileges. I told him his choice to leave was so painful for me that continued contact with him would be impossible for me. He was choosing to leave, so I was freeing him to his choices (and their consequences) Then I had the locks changed. The No contact has made it much easier to take my focus off of him, and focus on me and my kids. I am much more at ease and am even enjoying my freedom to putz around the house, cook what I like, and watch TV all night! You have NO CONTROL over what he does! He is obviously in chaos and willingly sharing that with you. I encourage you to step out of it. Make it clear to him, maybe in an email, so he can revisit it, That you do not want D, that you want him to return, but meanwhile you need space "to clear your head" and to protect yourself from further pain. Then make yourself scarce. He must be very attached to you, and may only notice when you are not always available to meet a need. It is working for me, so far.
That really makes sense to me. Neither my H or I would feel comfortable with that, though. I think it would be too hard on my kids because H is a very involved father. H would be enraged if I tried to limit his access to the kids, and it wouldn't benefit anyone.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
