He said he is done!!

[Ready2Change]

Hi, sorry to hear about your sitch, but you have found a great place for support.

I have been reading the information on this site for a few days and it has shed some light

Good keep reading.

- but how to I get him to see that we have a chance.

By taking your focus off of him and work on you.

I even emailed him the DB site!

Hopefully he checks it out, but most likely he has no desire to work on the relationship and does not. I strongly suggest you focus on you and let him deal be for now.

I focused on 110% of the time...free time that we did not spend together.

Do you see why OW looks attractive?

...He moved out last Monday!

He needs space, give it to him.

I have tried to talk to him and make him understand that 20 years together and 3 kids deserve more time to resolve the issues

Talking does not work. Change the way you interact with him. This is very important. Listening and validating.

. We did not have any type of abusive relationship - we just forgot about each other. He said he does not love me anymore

Sounds just like my relationship with MsR2C. I give advise based off what did not work for me and what I have seen work for others here.

- I can't accept that.

I strongly suggest that you accept it. Feelings change over time. Every relationship gets to this point. You now need to go through this and come out on the other side. ( Read "Keeping The Love You Find: A Guide for Singles" by Ph.D. Harville Hendrix.)

I am trying to give him space to figure all this out.

You are doing the right thing. Keep giving him the space he needs.

I am just afraid that the longer he is gone the harder it will be save our marriage.

Face your fears. If you do not, they will become true. What you do to prevent events in your life cause them to happen.

How does he have the right to say "I am done"

He has free will.