The twilight zone and the OW

[foreverhesaid]

Carolina,

My husband I suppose technically lived at home, but there were many times that he ran away. I guess I based his MLC starting time about then because he started to leave on weekends 'to spend some time alone'.

I think the only real trigger for him was turning 40. When he was about 38 he started to make alot of comments about how he was almost 40 and how old he would be. My husband is very controlling, so much so that in the 12 years we have owned our business, he has only gone on vacation for 2 weeks total. He was somehow convinced that the whole place would fall apart without him. I begged him to go, his parents begged him, but he wouldn't listen, he knew best. So when he first started to go for drives on the weekend I thought it was good that he was letting go a bit. What started as drives for a few hours, turned into overnight trips, then he would leave Friday to Sunday. During this time I realized that things were alot more complicated and began learning about MLC as all of his behaviors changed and he basically became a crazy person I didn't recognize. As I started to GAL, I would sometimes come home from a class midweek and find him gone as well. Sometimes there would be a note, other times he would send me an email that he 'just had to get out of the house'.

It was very very hard to deal with, but some of the early posts I read on MLC said that if they really wanted to leave for good they would, and it doesn't help to push them in that direction. Eventually, after months and months he stopped dissapearing midweek, and just this past October he spent a full weekend at home. Now he seems to only go every other weekend, that has been his pattern in the new year. So he seems to be circling and I hope will eventually decide to come home for good. His journey is still not complete, however, because when he is here there is alot of teenager activity - although I think I am starting to see the adult more and more.