Moving merrily down the tunnel

[fisherman]

Hey D,

I know a fella that can relate, actually you do too. You met him a while back.

It may be helpful to give him a holler and see how he handles it. He's a pretty smart fella.

[kjensen]

Gouty arthritis-always thought it was a funny term. Sorry D.
BUT..the good news is it can improve quite a bit with (no alcohol and drugs that prevent gout ) so there are (pretty cheap) treatments!

Better than rheumatoid arthritis and osteoarthritis... and "There is often an extended symptom-free interval, which may last for years, after acute gout attacks"..
Thinking of you!

[kjensen]

Hi D-
Checking in to see how you're doing..haven't heard from you in awhile. Hope you are well!

[D Money]

I'm doin alright. D7 has been sick the past few days.

Things still friendly between wife and I. Noticed some things lately though. She has been talking and doing more things with her Mom and sisters. I know I'm not to put stock into things she says but Monday she referred to us as husband and wife. This is the first time I've heard this since she left a year ago. For all intents and purposes in her mind we were divorced so it was kind of surprising to hear. I know no expectations. I like to gauge things every month to see what's different so we'll see how things change over the next month.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Hey D,

That is pretty cool news.

With some MLCers, they reconnect with others family, friends, children, before they reconnect with you. It was the case with my wife.

: ) I bet you felt gutted and floored when she said that huh?
Husband and Wife. So...how did you react?

[D Money]

To be honest I didn't react at all. It didn't really hit me until later when I replaying the conversation in my head. I'm glad because then I acted as if it was normal for her to say that which really wasn't an act if that makes any sense.

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Made perfect sense.

The first time, in a long time, when my wife told me "I love you." and meant it, that's the important part. It was like she took a frog and smack me across the face with it...cause that is how I looked and felt. Stunned.

I hate the term baby steps, because I think most people use it incorrectly, i.e. "He breathed in my general direction today! It's a baby step."

But in this case, it truely could be. Testing the waters makes more sense.

[D Money]

Well it seems to be more of a peek out of the tunnel rather than reconnection. She told me again yesterday that she has no feelings in a romantic way for me. She's still spending money she doesn't have. She joined Facebook and used her maiden name. For status she originally put "it's complicated" and then changed it to single. I think it was Snodderly who said that their radar will detect if something bothers you. I was at her place yesterday when she showed me her FB page. I didn't think I showed anything but after I left she texted me that I know how she feels and that she was sorry she made me uncomfortable.

I enjoy her friendship, but it doesn't help me to detach.

I went to see the specialist. I don't have gout. He said everything I described sounds like RA but the blood test doesn't reflect that so I just have to wait and see if it progresses. More patience.

[kjensen]

Hi D-
Good to hear how things are going. Sorry the docs can't figure out what's ailing you-that can be really frustrating!

What we all do without this FB stuff to add to the drama of our spouse's MLC! At least there seems to be some improvements with your wife.. a little more awareness of the feelings of others is good.

You're doing well-being patient, keeping expectations/hoped in check. Hang in there!

[D Money]

She tells me that I'm a great guy and she loves me as a friend but she doesn't love me in a romantic way. WTH? Another creative way to say I love you but I'm not in with you.