Next steps

[avermont]

RE: the debit card. I think if I just take a week or so to put it in the mail with: NOT AT THIS ADDRESS, it might just take two weeks or so to sort it out.

but, hell, why am I wasting any mental energy on her and her stupid cards? When it goes back to the bank, sooner or later,the bank will have to contact her to figure it out. F**k it.

Re the shows: I would see him once a week or so at production meetings. Then there would be an intense week of "load-in" and rehearsals. All of which I could probably handle. But then there's drinks after rehearsals. And why wouldn't he have OW come join the gang for drinks? After all, the poor dear doesn't know many people in town.

So it might be more the social aspects of the project that would be the hardest.

I could fantasize that having him see me busy, confident, looking good, participating in the process would set the stage for the original romance. It's how it all started,right? Avermont with her set drawings, X with his lighting plot...cue music...

You weren't on the boards or on my thread when the sitch first started. But some 4 weeks after the bomb, we worked 3 weekends together re-modeling the rental apartment bathroom. And yes, it was just like nothing had happened--jokes, dividing up the project according to skills and time...I even had my new snug jeans and tight t-shirt as I lost a chunk of weight by then. He was already moved into new apartment with OW by then.

That project didn't ignite any sparks for him.

There will be a show in the fall, and I will be in a much better place by then. I also want to push the group to find another darn lighting designer. X can't be the only one around who can do it! Heck, I can do it.

As my anger at my "feeling" forced to not participate with the group (I know, I know, it is all me, no-one is keeping me out of the theatre) grows, who knows--I may just go to one of the production meetings as more details of the set need to be answered! so there!

I couldn't cry at work, but I could take lunch hour and go for a good run.

That helped.

You're right, newmama--maybe just determine that I WILL work on the fall show and go from there.

Thank you!