You sound very defeated. I know that is a very hard place to be.
Let's learn from mistakes though and examine the facts so perhaps things can be different for YOU.
He moved home and neither of you had a plan on how to rebuild. You must either take the initiative to create a plan to rebuild or create a plan to leave the marriage. Those are the two options.
You have mentioned your fear of setting boundaries. I can relate. It is SCARY to do but nothing will happen if you don't.
You are a young woman with young children and spending the rest of your life with somebody that is unwilling to contribute to the marriage should be unacceptable to you. So, you either file for divorce and end the marriage OR you set boundaries and create a plan WITH your husband to rebuild in a healthy fashion. If he says no at least you know you tried.
