Cutterbug you are right I know this will be a hard week. I have already started to tell myself this and I have found that it doesn't matter. I am willing to do what I have to and to go to any lengths to save my marriage. As hard as this is going to be I also know that NOTHING was as hard as having to take an honest look at myself and see the fearful insecure man I had become. And then came the point of realizing I do not like me and starting to change that.
WhatdidIdo I have already started doing these things you have mentioned. She hears a difference in me and sees a difference in the way I communicate and interact with her. SHe has already brought this up on her own. She also said she resents me some for it because she wishes I would have been this person before she went to someone else. She said she does not know what happened to the man I was but to leave him gone and she does not know what to do with who she sees now.
I think the six on six off schedule can work to my benefit because If I can create a better atmosphere not having been there then I can definitely do it during the time I am there possibly making the impact of me not being there even stronger.
When (if) I do confront her I will be loving. Believe it or not I have come to a place that I am not angry with her anymore. I really am understanding she is hurt, upset, confused, and trying to get her needs met. I have come to a place that I have been able to forgive not only her ( because she is not thinking clearly) but myself. She has stated numerous times as well recently without me asking her that when she tells him she loves him it is not the same as telling me. She said she will always love me more than anything in the world. I will not let her bait me into an argument. She has tried that a couple of times the last few days and I have been good at validating and defusing.
Newmama is right . How do you respond to that? The other things she has said is I'm not attracted to you anymore. I am attracted to him( He has the classic fantasy novel body apparently though I have found that since I have started working out I am getting FAST results but this is more for my own self-esteem). I think we moved too fast getting married. And As much as I love you I have to love myself first. I don't know if passion can come back and I want passion.
Sorry I know I have been writing a lot I just want to get as much help and feedback because I go home tomorrow.
