Then stop talking about it and thinking about it for now.
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as for empathy for my wife... its hard because she is so remote, both physically and emotionally-- that I know she is in pain but I do not know why.
Empathy comes with time.
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Perhaps none of that matters... but that she is in pain.
Right now, that is all that you need to accept.
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as for what I have done to grow and learn.. again. you are right. I've read a few books.. read a lot on this web site to understand MLC.. but get mired down in my own self pity for the most part.
This is a cycle that you can break. But it takes a lot of time and looking at it from the outside. Removing your emotions and grasping the concept.
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and yes. I'd like her to put aside her feelings from the past... and understand how hard and maybe impossible that is.
This is called sweeping it under the rug.
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I have tried to understand what she is going through. I have tried to give her the space and time she needed... but I have not done as good a job with that obviously as I could.
So do better starting now.
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox
