Here's my story..midlife crisis/infidelity

[January girl]

I'm so tired of this ride!!
I want off this rollercoaster!!

I know it's normal but this morning driving
into work I was overwhelmed with this feeling
of sadness. I know he needs to move out
because it's what needs to happen for my sanity...
however part of me just wishes that we had never
HAD to go down this road of MLC.

I had lunch with my best friend yesterday and she
commented how great I look and seem. She was
amazed at how calm and in control I am. The truth is
"what is the alternative?" Screaming, yelling and stomping won't change the facts
of my life and what I have to do for me.

On another note, this "journey" has forced me to look
at how my H has treated me over the last couple of years.
It seems like soon after we had our daughter-8 years ago-
things started to slip between us. Partially I believe
because it was SO hard to conceive her-we were infertility
patients for 4 years before she was born. Infertility
takes such a toll on a couple. Partially because we didn't
"tend the garden of our marriage." I put all I had into
being a great mom and I think I took for granted that my
husband would always know how much I adored him. Six years
after our daughter we went thru IVF to have our son. I
guess I always thought it was SO important to have two
children especially because my H is adopted and I felt
it was SO important that he have a couple of souls who
were his "blood" to share his life with in addition to
me.

Now I feel so sad because I have welcomed kids into
this world only to be put into a family
soon to be torn apart by divorce.


Thoughts, my friends??