Actually Kevin, I think you're doing much better lately. You're doing a pretty good job of walking the fine line between maintaining a friendly relationship and still giving her a taste of the way things would be if/when you were to get divorced. Keep enforcing healthy boundaries and detachment and yet leave the door open for reconcilation. Do not push it though. If it's going to happen let it happen naturally and with her initiation or it won't be real. Nobody said this was easy!!!
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Just one caution though, and I purposely put this in a separate post ....
Be aware that there could be setbacks or pitfalls ahead. Many WAW's are nice to their STBXH's to assuage their guilt and have a "nice" divorce. I'm not saying that's what's happening here, I just want you to be realistic and keep up your PMA no matter what happens. She will test you to see if the changes you are making are real. Don't try to guess her motivations, just keep working on yourself.
Everybody hurts. It's part of life. Don't miss the good stuff.
Actually Kevin, I think you're doing much better lately. You're doing a pretty good job of walking the fine line between maintaining a friendly relationship and still giving her a taste of the way things would be if/when you were to get divorced. Keep enforcing healthy boundaries and detachment and yet leave the door open for reconcilation. Do not push it though. If it's going to happen let it happen naturally and with her initiation or it won't be real. Nobody said this was easy!!!
Thanks Drew,
I appreciate it. I forgot to mention that we discussed taxes yesterday also. She wants to get started on them as soon as the forms are in. I agreed. She asked if I cared whether we did joint or separate. I said lets do whatever returns the most money. She agreed.
I am going to let it happen naturally Drew. I am on board with that. I actually don't expect to see her or hear from her again for another week or so. But that is ok as I have enough on my plate with trying to land another job.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
Be aware that there could be setbacks or pitfalls ahead. Many WAW's are nice to their STBXH's to assuage their guilt and have a "nice" divorce. I'm not saying that's what's happening here, I just want you to be realistic and keep up your PMA no matter what happens. She will test you to see if the changes you are making are real. Don't try to guess her motivations, just keep working on yourself.
I don't expect a perfect road from here on out. I am a realist on that. And I will just keep working on myself as I have plenty to do.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I am putting my faith and trust in God that His will, will be done.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I am putting my faith and trust in God that His will, will be done.
Kevin
This is good and I did the same thing, BUT my pastor told me to stop and really listen to what God's will is...not mine and accept that God's will may be for me to move forward without exh.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
This is good and I did the same thing, BUT my pastor told me to stop and really listen to what God's will is...not mine and accept that God's will may be for me to move forward without exh.
I appreciate what you are saying SO2 and I do accept God's will whatever that may be. I just know I am also pray for restoration and at the moment for me to succeed at getting a better job. lol.
At the end of my prayers, I always ask that God's will be done, not mine. And I know this is what is happening because if my will were to be done, W would be back with me right now. lol.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I just got a call from my recruiter telling me that there is a position here where I work in a different department that I seem to be qualified for. What a blessing that would be. It would buy me more time to get up to date with BSA knowledge and look around. I would definitely be grateful if it pans out.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I think things are slowly heading in a better direction. But I am still very cautious.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
I admit this is getting hard again. I wish this would end. I want to go home to my W and kids. I want us to rebuild our M to a new level. I don't know how.
It would be nice if she would even just call/text/email and say hi out of the blue now and then. At least I would know she was thinking about me.
I'm not sure what is going on. I don't know what is going through her mind.
I just know I miss her and I want to go home to her and my kids and be a family again.
Kevin
Me 36, W 37 M: 08/02/97 D13, D9 1st Bomb 02/08 Reconciled 04/08 2nd Bomb: 09/08 W filed for D 02/04/09 Separated 03/09 D dismissed 06/09/09 Still separated...
