Not sure if I have reason to whine, b*tch or complain, but here goes...
Mid-day I txt H, and say "Happy Anniversary! I Love You!" (I've only said ILY one other time this year, other than, Love, on a card...)
He txt's back, "Happy Anniversary! What do the boys have going on tonight? When will they be done?"
I reply back, "I'll be done driving to/from soccer/bball by 7."
So, H calls and wants to take the boys and I to the Japanese restaurant for dinner (Yea, no offense to the boys, but I can't wait to spend my anniversary w/them.)
We pick him up at home for dinner. He gets in the car w/a smile, and leans over and kisses me... "Happy Anniversary!" I reply in kind.
We have a fine dinner, but I'm a bit quiet, as he's really ticked at D18, and has made a few comments. I really just want to enjoy, so if I don't feed the conversation, it doesn't continue (right now, any other time, I don't care!). All other conversation is fine, and we have a fun time w/the boys.
We get home and I give him his snazzy shirt. He loves it, and the card I got him, which was cute/touching, but not over the top. He gave me this really nice flower arrangement w/this ceramic angel in it. It's just like one we used to have outside that broke. No card. I say thank you.
A few minutes later he's upstairs messing around w/the boys. I have this overwhelming sense of grief.... Grief for a marriage/wedding anniversary celebration of three years prior, and beyond... He used to take me to this really nice resort every year. Used to buy really nice/fun cards. Everyone signed, w/an ILY. Even last year he gave me card that said, "If I had to do it all over again, I'd get down on bended knee again, ... I'm just not sure I'd get back up as fast as then!"
He asks in an odd way, in front of the boys, what's going on, when I come out. I'm not openly crying, but my eyes are probably showing a bit of a sign. I say, "Nothing, really, I'm fine." (Don't want to say anything, and seriously, don't want to say anything in front of boys.)
H, S10 and I watch some tv together, and he has to leave to go out of town. H leans over and kisses me again, And, says, in an odd way again... I know somethings going on w/you. "Happy Anniversary, sleep well."
Me-46, D-21, S15, S13
After many years w/my head in the sand... I FILED Divorced 6/2011
The average woman would rather have beauty than brains, because the average man can see better than he can think.
