Hi, whatnow! I just found your thread today. I am not in your same sitch, but my WH did fantasize about OW moving in with us long ago!!! barf!
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although I am sure she wants to replace me and live my life, have my beautiful home, raise my kids, have my friends, etc
YES She is trying to live your life by stealing your WH!
Why not email him the reminder AND suggest automatic deposit into your account?
Check out Daybyday's thread, for she is a SAHM for 20 years or so and has alawyer giving her advice for how to deal with her husband's refusal to pay.
And stay dark!!! good job-see after a couple of weeks he is already emailing you? Figure out what you want during this dark time.
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
Thanks newmama and all of you for your support. I had no faith in my decision making skills. I am coming back...now that I have a direction to move in.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
I don't want to argue with your assessment - 20 years is a long time to be a SAHM. Kudos to you, btw! But have you ever considered getting into a home based business of some sort? It might not make you a millionairess (although I actually know people who have done it!), but it would give you some money of your own. And it will definitely tell him you're moving on and up! Just a thought.
undefeated 24 H 24 S's 4, 2, 1 M 5 yrs
"Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all." ~Dale Carnegie
I was a special ed teacher and administrator. To start over and get recertificated would take a year or so and reward me with about $32,000 a year. That would cover about 2 months of our bills. I don't think that is the route for me.
I did the Tupperware thing, but they have since changed the delivery model...impossible to make a career of that these days. It was a whole lotta fun tho!! I loved it.
I like jewels...I may pursue gemology.
Obviously, I need to work on setting some goals! I had started to think of what I would do when my youngest went to college, but thought I had a few more years to figure it out...DS13 is a 7th grader.
For now, I need help setting something more immediate. 1. get up on time tomorrow. 2. Drive kids 30 miles to school...on time. 3. Get food in the house for dinner. 4. take a shower at some point. 5. strengthen friendships I have been neglecting over the last year.
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
good idea to set goals but please look at daybyday's thread!!!
me,34 exH,34 S,16 months S:3/31/09-left for OW started DBing 10/09 d final: sometime 10/10 current: http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2022856&page=1 met in 2004
I was a special ed teacher and administrator. To start over and get recertificated would take a year or so and reward me with about $32,000 a year. That would cover about 2 months of our bills. I don't think that is the route for me.
You know, you could probably earn more money using those skills. Consider starting a consulting business where instead of a salary job you charge by the hour as a consultant. I don't know exactly what that would look like in your case, but I know that in my case I paid a woman $100/hr to assess my child and give me advice in how to proceed with navigating the diagnosis process. She doesn't even have professional expertise, just a lot of experience. I don't have money to throw around, but the whole thing was so confusing and I needed someone to hold my hand and get me on track in a step by step way. She also shared her names and contact info of resource people (which are often selfishly guarded in areas that are underserved with respect to services).
Just brainstorming with you. I know a person who is a gemmologist, but she doesn't make any money from it .
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
Funny you should mention the consulting fm. H and I have had a consulting business for over 20 years but we have others that do the actual work. I have been advised to not change my financial situation until after D. He has been ok tho with the money, putting in what needs to be there and paying off the credit card every month.
He called on Mon. to talk about DS. (he hasn't spoken or seen him since he left 12/27) I need to find DS a new school and he wanted input. He started with "miss you" "it's hard to not talk to you". I stayed silent for a bit and then updated him on DS. He then asked if it was ok for him to tell me "that stuff" about missing me. I said I was focused on me now. Then he started to give me a To-Do list of projects.....yea yea Have yer wife do that is what i wanted to say! The best part was, I am ok after that! I have direction. I have a plan to grow out of this emotional quagmire.
But then...DD texted me, "Dad is still wearing his wedding ring??" I felt...hope?? Hope confuses me. It keeps me stuck in chaos. Can't have hope AND move on, can I?? It feeds my denial and inability to accept that he is gone. But should i give up hope?? Back and forth I go......
Thanks for hanging with me...Don't let me make you dizzy!!!!!
"If you strike me down, I will become more powerful than you can possibly imagine!" 1st thread
But then...DD texted me, "Dad is still wearing his wedding ring??" I felt...hope?? Hope confuses me. It keeps me stuck in chaos. Can't have hope AND move on, can I?? It feeds my denial and inability to accept that he is gone. But should i give up hope?? Back and forth I go......
Thanks for hanging with me...Don't let me make you dizzy!!!!!
I know just what you mean, W does similar things from time to time.. She clearly has very strong feelings for me but for what ever WAS dream fog she is in she refuses to do the right things and further more belives OM is the greatest person
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