I feel like I'm just slipping back into the person she started to fall out of love with. If I do the DR "getting on" thing, all I feel I'm doing is being the "you do your own thing" kind of person that she learned to resent.
It seems the more I get on, the more comfortable she feels that everything's okay. He's getting on. This is okay ... it's just as easy for him as it is for me.
And the longer I'm around, the more confirmation it seems to be in her eyes that she's right ... everything that she sees wrong with me can be validated in one screw up, despite all the right things I've done recently. For example, tonight, while I was still at work, a call came through from a realtor that someone wanted to see the house (we're getting out of our lease so that we can move to a less expensive place, and be able to afford a separate apartment for me). I came home and could tell she was mad, had cleaning materials in hand and was cleaning, saying the house was a mess. But when I'd left the house this morning, after getting the kids off to the bus, I'd scrambled around making sure the house was clean in case someone wanted to look at it. To me, the place looked fine. To her, it was a mess. So, anything I'd done by way of being pro-active in the way of contributing to housework was lost in 'I still need to do everything around here.'
