Hmmm.....what a counselor. After our first 90 minutes, I can tell I will like her AND I can tell she is going to push me to progress...
Her thoughts based on the info I could cram into 90 minutes?
1)Wow Dan has MAJOR issues...her words, "Boy he really can't own responsibility for any of his choices can he?"
2)There will be no changing the situation unless I change it (now where have I heard that one before? ) Her words, "He sounds like he is not motivated to make any internal changes, and he hasn't had to."
3)Well, both of your parents have some special dysfunctions, don't they? Not exactly great examples to follow...
4)From what you have told me, including 3 infidelities that you know of, I think your pastor was right when he said you had ample grounds for divorce, Biblically as well as legally
5)You need to remove him from your life as much as possible INCLUDING: • Start communicating about arrangement w/the kids via email, not phone • He can have kid time, but not at my house (I told her he had no home and she said, “That’s not your problem”—again, I have heard that before!) • Get a third party to arrange pick-ups and drop-offs whenever possible • Do not spend time together, period!
The one thing though she said at the end that actually surprised me was, she wouldn’t push forward with the divorce yet. Basically she said talking about the D paperwork was one thing connecting us right now, and she would let it go unless he brought me the papers on his own. She said, as long as I am financially and logistically capable of taking care of myself and the kids right now, to just let it go for now. Focus on separating myself from him physically and emotionally, then deal with the legal stuff.
) Her words, "He sounds like he is not motivated to make any internal changes, and he hasn't had to."
