Don't get down on yourself. You were hit with a bomb that rocked your world. It's totally understandable that you were preoccupied. Now that you are more aware, just make an effort to engage your daughter in talks. Don't force it, but start small and I bet conversations will just happen.
Maybe you could take her out to lunch or go shopping or something. Put some girl time on the calendar and she will probably be really excited. I know schedules are crazy, but this is important so squeeze it in.
And you could even tell her you are sorry for not giving her the time and attention she needed. You are human and you have feelings...if you are open, loving and honest...she'll understand. If anything this will probably bring you guys even closer. : )
Me: 34 H: 34 DD: 3 M: 8 yrs H moved out Oct. 2008, "not happy" "don't know what I want" "will always love you, but not in love with you" PA Bomb: April 5, 2010
