Mixed Signals or is this Limbo Land

[MHL]

I think the separation agreement will be a wake up call. for her.

Maybe. Was your W a responsible mother prior to her WAW/MLC status? I thought when I started to push the D along that my W might be shocked into an awakened state but that didn't happen. I initially thought that her moving out would possibly give her an opportunity to see that keeping the family whole is the right thing to do. I now think that I am kidding myself.

IMO, my wife fed the emotional needs of my kids but not so much in the physical needs, truth be told I think we both could have done a better job. I feel like I am being the best father in the world right now, I mean it is like my W died. I have had them 24/7 for over 4 months now.

You are right about them, they do not see the damage they are doing and what the future damage may be. In my sitch, I think my W waited until the point where she thougt the kids would be old enough to handle it. I just hate when everyone says, 'well no matter what your kids still need their mother", I reply now that "If you find her (their mother), let me know"

They don't wake up because they're too engrossed in their own self-serving and self-gratification selfishness to acknowledge or recognize what any of this is doing to the kids or their families. Plus if they did, they would have to start dealing with the guilt and consequences of what they've done. The easier road for them is to continue living in the denial and fantasy world that they've created for themselves.

Sorry, don't mean to be so cynical, but in most cases I really think the above is true.

From what I have read in the MLC Resources thread, our WAS/MLCer our changed forever the old person is gone, even after they recover they are never the same. That is a sobering thought and I have to admit it is helping me emotionally b/c, like everyone else, I want my old W back but I think that person is gone forever. I have thought about it and my old wife is dead and I need to get used to that person being gone.

MSH, I was thinking about your weight loss last night. You have lost almost a third of your body weight...be careful and take care of yourself.

How is the tough love thing going?

I am trying to put the weight back on at least 10-15 lbs but it somehow comes back off in days, I will pick up 5 lbs and then lose 4 so it is slowly coming back. Definitely getting my appetite back though which feels good.

The tough love thing is going okay, did call her today to discuss some issues with the kids, but handled it like a "business transaction" as one of my friends puts it. She seems to be fine with it, no anger coming from her that I can detect so its business as ususaul for now.