Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

If you are in the military a location change should be pretty "old hat" to both you and your W, right

yes it is old hat, but we have never moved apart at different times and never with one month's notice. This was supposed to be a routine move in Jun/Jul. If this job falls thru, it will be again, if not, I leave here in less than 30 days. Not what I need in life at the moment.
I am stressing well because the person selecting for the job knows me (so that worries me) and because it will drive some quick decisions on W's part about our future.

So IF you get this job should things be ok with you and MrsGW would she have come too or would she have to get a job in the same place?

Yes we would be together in Hawaii, they are alrady lining up a job for her in case I am selected. We are a package deal, no one knows we are having issues. She isn't going to fight this because she doesn't want our girls to be away from me.

Nothing is going to be solved today, or lost today. You certainly do NOT need THE talk today, or even tomorrow, despite what you might think. Getting on here and venting may be the best thing for you right now, but you really have to get a grip and realize you don't need to panic

I am getting a grip, I needed to release, I did, I am out of panic mode. Like I have said, I think the W will insist on talking some, but I've already calmed down to the point where I think I can do damage control. Timing is bad, but it is what it is. If W wants to open up and share with me what she is feeling/thinking, I have to listen, validate, be attentive...if she wants to try to connect because of this mild "crisis" I can't push her away, so thus I think the talk will happen. But i will not initiate.

You can only control you. Keep doing the good work you have been, but no matter the anxiety you feel right now-Find something that can lower your stress level for a few days BEFORE you have any talk!! Take the time to listen to those on this board, take deep breaths, and just calm a little.

Anxiety is not there much, I'm calm now, stress levels very moderate. I recovered quickly...just needed to vent to get some opinions from people.

I WOULD mention that I was going to IC to move forward positively for myself regardless and leave it at that and also somewhat mysterious. I don't know how exactly you should say what you need to say tonight, but you seem to be on the right track. I like positive, hopeful, and future-minded and the idea that she's welcome and wanted and the kids are at the center of your life.

I am not in individual counselling at the moment but am looking into it. I guess I can just mention I've begun exploring IC to ensure I continue to move forward in the right direction.