Looking for Advice

[gutwrenching]

ALL - yes things better now, I am calmer. I got blind-sided by that one because I had already replied that I had no interest in the position and didn't think my name would be tossed in the ring.

I had to get the shock out of me. I will NOT bring up talk tonight, but I really think the W will; she said she will, I don't think she'll forget or ignore or try to avoid. She knows I am not happy about being put in for the position and she understands, so I think she is going to try to make things a nice evening. I might try to suggest we watch some TV shows we have recorded, that might be my only hope of avoiding the talk. Maybe I am wrong, but I doubt it. She has taken to joking about the situation. We had another meeting together, she suggested we go visit with a couple of people in the building, and she was joking about things. As we walked back, I said so you are taking the joke about it approach. And her response was what else can we do, but try to laugh about it. She was very friendly, nice, etc.

Do we have to talk about it tonight, no, but having been in these types of situations before, it can be a fast moving game with a lot that would have to be done in the next month. One of the biggest decisions would be to live together or apart - would make a difference on the house I was provided to live in. She knows this without me saying it. If not for our issues, the smart thing to do would be to talk about tonight. Thus, I think she will bring it up.

I think I can do damage control. In a dream world, she will say (without me asking) that she is going to give us a try. I don't think at this point she would say I want to live separate in Hawaii...I don't think she is 100% there, I don't think she'd want to unload that on us (we've had enough for today), and I don't think she'd want to deal with the potential fall-out of having everyone else know this dream team couple (as people see us) doesn't have it so well.

I think I'm going to get a "I don't know what to do" proclamation...So I can just re-iterate that I am willing to work on us, it is best for our kids, it is best for us, but that she has to be a willing partner. I can say this is a unique opportunity for us, our kids, our family and for her career too because she will be taken care of.
She would then most likely say something like she doesn't know yet, she's not there yet, she doesn't know if she can ever love me again, etc, etc. I've heard it all before, don't think much has changed.