I try to remind people that people are really different. As they say, "that's why there is vanilla and chocolate." Contrary to the popular belief, there are no magic words, no one way to treat a spouse that will turn him/her around and make him/her want to stay. The "wait it out and be the better option" approach works for some, not all. The "kick em to the curb, make them come crawling back" approach works for some, not all. And the MC route works sometimes. Personally, I recommend the "be true to yourself" approach. That is, don't be phony. Think about your values and hold true to them. Speak honestly and forthright and try to deal fairly and be dealt with fairly. But that's just me. On the other hand, I did not just stop my husband from breaking apart the family, I reconciled and moved from an unhappy marriage to a real partnership with my husband. So in my opinion, my opinion ought to count for something. If you'd like more info on my approach, there is a thread in Piecing called "Retrouvaille Means Change" where Sara and I go into detail.
