Separated--Does Not Admit to OW

[saffie]

It's a gradual thing and Lotus is SO right in saying it is different for everyone.

I would be having trouble leaving for a cruise....in fact, if I am honest, I wouldn't go. I wouldn't say it was because I didn't trust my H though, I would tell him it was because I would prefer to be with him and would rather spend my hard earned spare time with him.....and the money I saved in not dining out etc. whilst on the cruise, could go towards paying for the TV cabinet alterations, or a cruise/ break away with him in the future to make some new good memories together.

As for him inviting you out more, that can only be good. If he was still thinking he was likely to reconsider your M I really don't think he would be reconnecting with you so publicly.

As for those little texts; store some pre written ones on your phone - generic ones like "Thinking of you lots today with a smile on my face", "I love waking up next to you".....you get the idea.....that you can just hit the send button when you get a moment, rather than having to type the whole text there and then. You could send it that way when you just go for a quick trip to the ladies room or something.

This part is the hardest. It is different for everyone and you are having to force yourself to try and re learn how to trust when your senses re betrayal are at an all time high. Don't beat yourself up that you don't feel comfortable yet....it will come in time but it WILL take a while. It will also take a while for your H to feel safe to open up to you because he is the type of person you say he is. Don't push him out of his comfort zone at this stage. Let him tell you when he is ready. I was lucky in that my H was ready sooner rather than later - some are never ready. You really do need to play it by ear and do what makes you feel comfortable and the most secure.

BTW, my H never seemed to go through a sad or depressed stage afterwards really....I would say he was more relieved than anything that the complications were all over. I think the mess he had gotten himself into was just too much for him - I have wondered on occasions if he stayed with me because in the long run it was the least complicated option!!! Whatever the reason, it worked and still does!!!! ( Then I think, nah - it's coz I am the better woman!!! ).