Everyone who has an EA wants to blame their spouse for it, some because they secretly feel guilty and can't admit it out loud yet. Others because they resent you for not meeting their needs at the time (whether this is a true charge or not) and their own anger and guilt has to die down some it seems before they can see both sides to it.
Personally, I would not bring up MC or her going to therapy at this time if she is still in an angry or resentful mode. I WOULD mention that I was going to IC to move forward positively for myself regardless and leave it at that and also somewhat mysterious. I don't know how exactly you should say what you need to say tonight, but you seem to be on the right track. I like positive, hopeful, and future-minded and the idea that she's welcome and wanted and the kids are at the center of your life. You can say all this without begging or apologizing. Maybe throw in something about her own career goals and personal needs being able to be met too. She should not feel that it is either/or. Both of your career needs and aspirations and R aspirations will be met in this future life. Win-win.
Also, it's a new beginning. Not the same relationship from before. A new page. This makes sense also in light of the IC. (She might later start her own IC if you lead by example.)
