MSH, I did not go (as much as I wanted too)...and she did not ask in front of the kids. She is almost desperate to remain friends so she can feel better about herself, and it is on the verge of being pathetic.
Nik, I agree completely, it is cake eating and I refuse to let it happen. I am not going to give her the benfit of feeling good about her actions by supporting some facade of normalcy.
I would have told your H your butt is no longer his for the slapping and to keep his hands to himself (not familiar with your sitch though).
