(((((BobbiJo))))) I didn't see anything that had to do with BBJ in the list of why he doesn't want to D. It's all about him, what it will look like, and what impact it will have on him. Yep, selfish.
I noticed that too.
One other thing he said was, at this point, when it comes to counseling/advising Nathan on relationships, he intends to tell him:
Nathan focus on you and your goals/dreams, and do not sacrifice them for anyone or anything.
On one hand, this makes a lot of sense. We have seen so many people on here, me included, who have forgotten what they wanted from life b/c they tried too hard to make someone else happy and meet their needs...I mean if Nathan planned to go to California to study computer animation after high school and then gave it up to go to local community college to be close to his 16 yr old girlfriend, I would think he was making a HUGE mistake.
However, at a certain point in life, selfless loving/giving does require sacrifice. I think there must be a happy medium in there somewhere...
Edit: Maybe that is why people are waiting to marry until their 30s instead of right after college like I did? Because by then they have most likely had the opportunity to be self-focused and pursue their life/career goals?
BBJ, when you have time, try reading Passionate Marriage or try to find the principle of differentiation Vs fusion.
You can sacrifice things for the one you love, only if it is a concious choice you can live by and you do it on your own, no manipulation, ultimatums, fear involved.
Then, it becomes no sacrifice anymore. You decide to do it. Some people just throw the responsibility to others when their choice turned bad. There is subtle difference I cant explain well.
You can sacrifice things for the one you love, only if it is a concious choice you can live by and you do it on your own, no manipulation, ultimatums, fear involved.
Then, it becomes no sacrifice anymore. You decide to do it.
This is how I look at it, so I wouldn't consider it a sacrifice. It just means maybe you decided you have a new/different dream. Although for me the dream never really changed. I knew since 5th grade I wanted to be a teacher, but I knew from BIRTH that I wanted to be a wife and a mom. Teaching would just be my way of making money to allow me to support myself financially, but it wouldn't define me.
