You said your H WANTS a trial separation and hasn't DECIDED what he wants yet. Okay, that is your H. You are not required to go along with this plan because if you continue to, you are giving him the best of both worlds. He has somebody to do all the grunt work with the kids, somebody to look after his debt, a soft place to land AND the freedom to "think about things" with little responsibility or consequence.
Let him sit in a teeny apartment with no furniture and piles of bills and give him a good idea of what divorce looks like. You can do all that without saying a word!
If he is working too hard it is only HIM that can decide to stop spinning his wheels and make a new plan. You cannot control that!
