Don't know where to post this.

[MichelleLT]

Most WASs act like disturbed teenagers. That is part of the script. I don't disagree with your being more distant when she has seen OM, but the perspective bothers me.

You are talking about her like she is a dog you are training. Rewarding good behavior and punishing bad behavior.

It doesn't sound like you are doing it for you, but that you are trying to control her.

These boundaries and changes have to be for you. Otherwise you'll be back in the same dysfunctional R you were before.

Just my 2 cents.