I have been told by MC that move back to the house is on agenda for W's IC
Minimum actions for R: Dump already identified toxic friends, NC with OM, passwords to e-mail, facebook, and online phone records.
She will have to apologize and admit wrong doing to our mutual friends at some point early in the process.
She will begin wearing her wedding rings again and update FB status to married.
I am working on boundaries for myself.
I want the physical contact with her as it is my primary love language. She knows this and will see not touching her as abandonment.
Right now I refuse to so much as shake her hand when she has seen OM in the past 36 hour period. When she has seen OM all of my conversations with her take on a cool business like manner. She has seen this and does not like it. She has backed off with OM because of my treatment of her. When she has not seen him I will hug, hold, and kiss her if she initiates.
I am trying to treat as "reward good behavior and punish bad behavior"
Also when she has seen OM I withhold all validation of her beauty, work accomplishments, mothering, etc. When she refrains from seeing OM I validate her.
More trying to reward good behavior.
As of now she appears to be trying to receive the rewards from me. C has wondered if the OM started and is still being used as a tool to hurt me like I hurt W for several years.
I did not have A but I did destroy her self esteem.
Me 33 WAW 32 S12 S4 S2 M12 T14 Not wanting to ever give up.
