I love this part. I think I will use it in MC. Cant wait to see H's reaction-LOL!!!
Goal=Monogamy : Should no longer be based on exchange or reciprocity.
Fusion: You want to screw around but you dont want her to screw around so you are willing to give up screwing around so that she wont screw around but 5 years later, you feel she owes you because you've been a good boy...
Differentation: I want to be in a monogamus relationship, that's why I am not having an affair, if I have one then I'll blow it so I am not having an afair. I have the vulnerability of you having an affair and then I will no longer be in a monogamus R but I cant control that. And in fact I am smart enough not to tell not to do it because that will be like pulling the sheets back for you. You dont owe me because I am not doing it for you, I am doing it for me. I wouldnt do that to ME.
If YOU have an affair you tell me, you get a choice, I get a choice. I am not even gonna tell you not to have one. All I want is please tell me what you decide, it's your problem, you struggle with it the way I had to decide. If you change your mind, please tell me again. All I want is a "fair shake".
