Moving on with my life!

[Startingover2]

Thanks ST...at the time we decided the visits I was a sick mess. Baby was only 4 months old and I just wanted to make sure he didn't get to take her at all..I wasn't even thinking about times etc. We decided the times in mediation and the mediator wrote up the papers. It will cost me money for my attorney to do his job as well as any filing fees with the court. That is if everything went as planned and exh didn't complain. In that case it would be higher. I am barely making my bills now.

Exh is now 17 days late with his first half of CS this month and 2 days late on the 2nd. He splits them up into 2 payments. He said he will bring both checks by tomorrow. They are later and later. I know the first one will always be late as he has his rent and truck payments due on the first not to mention anything else. I know that isn't my problem but it will be chronically late. Whether I tell him or not about the garnishment he will blow his lid! They will take a 1/4 of his paycheck each week. He wont be happy!

[25yearsmlc]

Thanks ST...at the time we decided the visits I was a sick mess.
BUT YOU ARE NOT A SICK MESS NOW...
Baby was only 4 months old and I just wanted to make sure he didn't get to take her at all..I wasn't even thinking about times etc. We decided the times in mediation and the mediator wrote up the papers. It will cost me money for my attorney to do his job as well as any filing fees with the court. That is if everything went as planned and exh didn't complain. In that case it would be higher. I am barely making my bills now.

Exh is now 17 days late with his first half of CS this month and 2 days late on the 2nd. He splits them up into 2 payments. He said he will bring both checks by tomorrow. They are later and later. I

WHICH IS EXACTLY WHY YOU HAVE TO GET THE GARNISHMENT....YOUR 'NICE' APPROACH IS GETTING YOU NOWHERE BUT INTO DEBT - AND NOWHERE IN THE R EITHER....STICK UP FOR YOU D AND YOURSELF NOW...as for going back to your L, I don't oppose that. I simply say, start with taking control over your life. If you spend some money now, it'll save you money in the long run AND tons of heartache. I believe if the mediator or you had involved a strong L in the first place, it would have saved you money in the long run and you'd not have this stress in your life. What would that be worth?
know the first one will always be late as he has his rent and truck payments due on the first not to mention anything else. I know that isn't my problem but it will be chronically late. Whether I tell him or not about the garnishment he will blow his lid! They will take a 1/4 of his paycheck each week. He wont be happy!

He won't be happy? Gee, and he was being so nice and all. Making you and d a priority and everything...oh wait, I'm confusing him with what you WISH...
j-

[Startingover2]

Wow...help me sit on my hands so I don't respond. I'm not going to but really want to.

"Do me a favor. You have your life and I have mine but we have baby. Please quit all the sh** talk about me. Done with it..we have a child for heaven's sake!"

So now he thinks he is the pillar of integrity? I haven't said anything to anyone but the truth if they ask. Most people know exh's reputation anyway. I am sure MGF is building him up and telling him what I spilled about to her....funny..she doesn't mention all the sh** talk she herself said about him.

He also sounds like he cares about baby. Nope...all he cares about once again is himself.

Looks like another no show for visit today. Bummer...NOT!

[smith18]

Not responding to these sort of texts will make them disappear in time.

[Reincarnated]

Who knows what prompted that message in his sick little world? You know now NOT to talk to those he socializes with, so just ignore it moving forward.

[Startingover2]

Not responding to these sort of texts will make them disappear in time.

Who knows what prompted that message in his sick little world? You know now NOT to talk to those he socializes with, so just ignore it moving forward.

That is for sure. No communication from him after that text. He didn't show or call for his visit yesterday nor bring the checks...it was fine anyway as we were pretty much flooding around here. So its been almost a week since he has seen her.

I have been working super hard on my online course lately. I wish I had more time to do it as I really want to get it done. I get up at 5 and work for about 90 minutes depending on baby. Usually at night I am too tired after she goes to bed to work on it. It will be great to be done with this and hopefully make some money.

Yesterday I had one of those I hate being a single mom moments. It has been raining so hard here for the past few days and my backyard was ankle deep in water and my pool was within 1/4 of an inch from the top! I was flipping out trying to figure out what to do before some real damage occured. Finally my first exh and my son came over and cleared some drains and hooked up a pump and got some water out. Should be ok from now on. We are just not setup for these kinds of storms! But at the time, walking around in the pouring rain, baby was screaming inside, I was thinking "I hate doing this all on my own!"

[S.T. _I Made It!]

yes, i would want to respond too. but, not sure that anything you would say would make a difference. the only thing I hate is that people take silence as an acceptance to the accusation. but, I think it's probably the best thing to ignore.

I would get that garnishment in asap since he's late on the second one, and not doing what he says he will do. and prepare yourself for his reaction. that's why I say write the letter just days before he would get the notice. yes, he will still be mad, but imho, it gives you the chance to show it as a benefit to everyone, instead of just an attack against him, which is how he will see it of course. but I understand whatever you choose to do, I wouldn't want to be in your position, and I'm sorry you have to deal with it all.

[25yearsmlc]

yes, i would want to respond too. but, not sure that anything you would say would make a difference. the only thing I hate is that people take silence as an acceptance to the accusation. but, I think it's probably the best thing to ignore.

I disagree. I think ignoring him, especially if you maintain the silence, says far more about it. It'll make him wonder if he pushed too far or said the wrong thing. He's not going to say "gee I sure showed HER and I must be right b/c for once, she's NOT responding"....on the contrary, the answering him is what he WANTS and expects and that is what confirms to him all the negatives he wants to believe about you. Don't fuel any negatives and same goes for the crazy MGFs...let them kill each other. They will. Emotionally. I mean if you don't provide them any drama that unites them in a "us against S2" way, then they'll eventually turn to others, and at some point against each other...Stay out of their way and GAL on your own...


I would get that garnishment in asap since he's late on the second one, and not doing what he says he will do. and prepare yourself for his reaction.
Prepare yourself to ignore his reaction. Just "show me the money" and let him stew and spin around in circles ALONE or at least, without you.

that's why I say write the letter just days before he would get the notice. yes, he will still be mad, but imho, it gives you the chance to show it as a benefit to everyone, instead of just an attack against him, which is how he will see it of course. but I understand whatever you choose to do, I wouldn't want to be in your position, and I'm sorry you have to deal with it all.

Can't wait til you detach....
j-

[Startingover2]

Can't wait til you detach....
j-

Me too!

I feel like I have made some progress for sure. Not to where I want to be yet, but pushing on.

He came by yesterday with my checks for CS and visited baby for about 15 minutes. I was upbeat and friendly. We talked about our other kids and what they are doing. He said he hasn't spoken to his d15 in almost 10 days other than that pic of baby she sent when she was here. Wow.

Went to kickboxing again last night. I really love it, but its like bootcamp!

Today is the last day of rain for a few days. We sure need a break. I miss being outside and baby is going nuts in the house all the time.

[Startingover2]

Ok. Something stupid but been thinking about it.

We have been having massive storms all week. More than California is used to! Anyway, baby's window in her room is leaking a bit. Not much, and I have never noticed it before. Normal rains it doesn't leak. When exh was here he noticed the towel in the window and looked at it...said he could seal it. I didn't say much.

Last night he sends a text saying he will come seal it today.

Is this something where I exercise my independence and say no thanks? On the other hand, it would be nice to have it done!

Oh and a funny thing was I was telling him yesterday about the almost flood I had with the pool and backyard the other day and he asked who came and fixed it...I told him my first exh. He said "figures! You would never call me!"