Don't know where to post this.

[Dudess]

I am trying to buy time until she starts her IC. She is very reactive but respects people she perceives as having authority. She will not back out of C once she starts unless the C tells her not to come any more.

Hasn't your MC told her that sleeping with other people in incompatible with having a good marriage?

It is troubling that she has too much respect for someone in authority. There are good counselors out there, but there are a lot of dreadful ones too. Please don't pin too much hope on the counselor. Yeah, a good one can help a lot, and a bad one can make things much worse. What if she gets one who encourages her to leave you because of your past control and abuse?

She may, however, refuse to go in the first place if I throw her out of the house before she starts.

I don't know that you need to kick her out of the house, but guy friends don't cuddle and kiss.

I did tell her if she wants OM she should go be with him. She restated that she is not sure what she wants. I said sorry you feel that way, let me know when you do.

You are putting your life in her hands when you wait on her to tell you what she wants. What do YOU want?