I will only badger you once about this and never more. This is going to sound harsh.
Everyone is different.
To some degree or another.
The fathers here have come to realize how important their children are.
The mothers…
The LBS mothers, always have.
No one (currently) posting to you Bradley is going to say your job, your career, your calling is more important than being there for your boys.
Not one of them is going to be swayed by how important your job is to you, or others.
Come a day when you desperately wish you had been closer to your boys. And that feeling is the worst feeling in the world; that realization.
Might never come a day you do.
No one here badgers you, because they vicariously want to live your life. They do it because they would spare you some of the pain they went through.
No one here can convince you how important you are in your boys life.
No one but you.
Is it important to have a good job? One that gives you a sense of satisfaction?
I believe so.
But not at cost to the job that matters most. Save one or a million lives…awesome, but not at the cost of two that should matter (from my point of view) more to you than a stranger.
You’re pissed that the OM is around your boys. Buying Lego’s, paying time and attention to them; in some aspects he is a scumbag.
In others…
He isn’t. Sometimes the means justify the ends.
Are his motives pure? Likely not. Does he realize that being a good dad to his kids and nice to your boys scores points with your wife? A smart man knows that.
IF, let’s say, my wife, had an amazing job, great money but wasn’t around much and we were having marriage problems. Meanwhile, I was hanging out with a woman who had two great kids, was a wonderful mother, a good companion and treated my kids with what I thought they had been missing from a mother…and my wife forbade me from having my boys around her…because she was jealous but doing jackshit about it other than issuing edicts… I’d tell her to pound sand or step up to the motherhood plate. To do something instead of bittch.
You live 4 hours away. Your choice.
She isn’t coming back to you solely on your terms. She might be MLC, but some of her complaints ARE valid, and it is up to you to determine which ones. Some of us here think we know which ones are valid to her. Being an involved father to her boys, and your boys.
Father up.
That is the last time I badger you on that subject Bradley. I will however, respond in kind if you make points of the subject. Right now I’d rather have what we wrote sink in.
The quitting early part.
People do, many do not post here once they do.
Some do, a very small group.
And you can tell. You can tell they are bitter. They did not improve themselves, they complain about everything, as if Life owed them something. I actually identify with their MLC or Walk-away-spouses more than them. I can understand why some of them did leave.
If you work on yourself, you come to a place of peace, it ain’t easy, but it is better.
Stop listening to that crappy sappy music that is making you depressed. Find a few Fukc the world songs. Get a new theme song that makes you want to stand up at take on the world. “Move Along” by All American Rejects worked for me.
Stop looking at your old pictures of you guys together.
Stop giving lip service here. Do or do not.
Man up.
Experience is a brutal teacher, but you learn. My God, do you learn. - C.S. Lewis
Life is usually all about how you handle Plan B. - Jack3Beans
Listen without defending; Speak without offending - FaithinAK
