Gucci is spot on. I read Dobson's "Love Must Be Tough" in it's entirety yesterday and Dobson disects the prodigal son story. He states the prodigal son only came home after his money ran out and he had to eat with pigs. The father did not pursue the son or try to hold on but allowed him to leave. The father then allowed the son to return home only when the son was ready. Otherwise the son would have felt trapped, which is what your W is feeling right now.
Tridoc, imo, if you haven't read Love Must Be Tough you should. Only takes about 3 hours and I'm not a speed reader. If you really do want your W back, you have to set her free. I know you are on an emotional roller coaster right now (btdt). I've arrived at that decision for my M and I'm finally beginning to feel self confident and gaining some self respect back for myself, even if my W doesn't yet. The WAS has to suffer consequences for their actions. Allowing them home base to return to without any risk means they can pursue their fantasy and if it fails, they know they can return to the LBS. When you set them free and tell them you are moving on with your life without them, it removes the safety net and there is risk to their decisions where once they felt none.
