It's hard to understand why somebody would CHOOSE to live w/guilt instead of just saying... "hey, I feel terrible, clearly our marriage is over but is there anything I can do or we can do to try and end things on a better note?" What would be so bad about that?
Baffling to me as well. My H was talking about his guilt soon after moving out and I just wanted to shake him and say "you don't have to feel guilty, you can stop doing the thing that you're feeling guilty about!!". But I actually see it as part of the H being in "victim"/hopeless mode, as if the guilt is yet another thing that is happening to them that they have no power to do anything about.
me: 42 | STBXH: 41 | T: 18 | M: 10 | separation: Jan 3, 2010 | they deserve better: S7 & D4 current thread: http://tinyurl.com/3y8sxcp .: first breathe, then heal, then start LIVING :.
