New Thread For Bradley11

[fisherman]

I am trying my best. Perhaps at least mentally it will allow me to detatch if I have brought up the D word... maybe that will help.

Absolutely won't....

and I'd suggest not speaking that word unless that is without a doubt what you want. I spoke it, and that is exactly where I found myself....D'd. There isn't anything you can say to "snap" her out of this or to move you further along. No shortcuts.

You can't fix this Doc. She has to.

You can help, and by help I mean lesson the severity of all this by your actions. Which is what you need to get a grasp on. Focus on you.

[cat04]

Bradley,

I have a question but first I'm going to tell you a story.

I work with developmentally disabled people. I deal with physical therapy, speech therapy, occupational therapy, social services, psychological, behaviorial, emotional, and health issues on a daily basis. I also spend part of my day wiping arses. Not the most thrilling part of my job, but necessary. Yes it is nice to see someone who it was believed could not communicate in any way begin to be able to tell people what they want or need. It is nice to have a health problem resolved. It is nice to finally reach a breakthrough point with someone and get them more comfortable and behaving appropriately in a social setting. But what fulfills me the most, is seeing these people's smile when I walk through the door. That smile comes because I don't treat them badly or differently or get upset because they can't control their bowels or their bladder, because I don't freak out when they can't stop themselves from masturbating in the living room, because I dont' look at them like they are a freak because they can't keep food or even their saliva in their mouths. Does it sound like my education even touches the best part of my job? Nope. Did I think this is what I would be doing with my training? Nope. But I wouldnt' trade if for the world. If I didn't get those smiles, it would all be crap, but...

So why did you become a heart surgeon? What do you get out of it?

[bradley11]

Cat-

i actually really do get a lot of satisfaction out of just standing by a patient's bedside and "helping" them. more than anything.

but I do love the challenge, the anatomical beauty, the physiology, the technical excercise of heart surgery.

I also like other types of surgery. what perhaps bothers me more than anything is I would be making a career choice based on chasing after my WAW-- and of course to be with the boys. This just does not feel all that good. I'm sure I could be happy doing that job... but there might always be a part that nags me...

[fisherman]

. what perhaps bothers me more than anything is I would be making a career choice based on chasing after my WAW-- and of course to be with the boys. This just does not feel all that good. I'm sure I could be happy doing that job... but there might always be a part that nags me...

Don't you think being with your boys could possibly take away that nagging part?

[cat04]

So you are fighting a career change because of your wife? Stay where you are to spite her?

Instead of seeing the positives?

Take your W out of the equation. There is no W but you have these boys. Would you stay in a job 4 hours away from them, when you could basically be just as happy, maybe even more so, you never know, if they were the only thing you had to consider?

[Twink]

what perhaps bothers me more than anything is I would be making a career choice based on chasing after my WAW-- and of course to be with the boys

Try switching these two around. You may or may not regain your wife, but you will certainly make a difference in your sons' lives by being a more constant presence in their lives.

I know it's a hard decision right now, but remember, it doesn't have to be the final one. You may have many more career opportunities in the future.

[Mach1]

Brad,

I'm gonna share something with you that I think about when I have those kind of days.....

I am not always going to be a husband..

I am not always going to be an employee..

I am not always going to be a boss...

I am not always going to be poor, or rich....

I am not always going to be young...

I am not always going to be old either...




What I am going to be , however, is a Father....forever.

The thing that I guess I haven't liked is she has been dictating everything-- what happens on the weekends, planning ahead... all those things.. so its been quite the opposite about how I think she should be spending her time.

Yea...That must suck....Sometimes that kind of projection makes you wonder how SHE felt all those years YOU were away, and maybe YOU didn't notice that she has been doing that anyway ?

I do agree that the kids are very important but don't I need to feel satisfied and happy with my work in order to be the best dad for them?

Personally ? I can't think of any more rewarding work than to be a Dad....

The rest is just for show......

[figgeroni]

When Cori and I decided to live together, we moved somewhere where my career was (I am a teacher) I changed school and we moved to the middle of nowhere...and by middle of nowhere, i really mean it...it is over an hour drive to get to a target, everything closes at 6pm and nothing is open in Sunday...

it's the prairie
the wind blows all the time...ALL the time

all of our family is at least 4 hours away

really really middle of nowhere and really not any industry

Cori moved there with me because I got the job
he was willing to take whatever job so we could all be together
blending our kids etc
but
there is no industry

at any rate

he left his career so I could have mine

he worked in corrections, had been trying to get on the PD but there weren't any openings etc...much more competitve where he lived,

he worked in a prison when we moved here...about an hour away
not the best job
not what he liked
but he did it
hours sucked, shifts sucked, drive sucked but we were together

he said everything would work for the best and as long as we were all happy he would make it work

he applied in the little town next to us that has a jail..a 12 person max jail

(keep in mind...in his corection job before, he was in charge of like 1500 inmates at a time...the pd was bigger than the population of the town we moved to)

so he applied to work at the Mayberry (not really but basically) jail
they didn't have an opening but he dropped off his stuff, talked to the local sheriff yada yada yada

It didn't take but 2 weeks before they asked him to come and work for them...in a position they created for him, taking the parts of his previous job he liked best (training, SWAT) and wrapping it up into his job description

they are helping him complete all his requirements for his Peace Officer license for this state
they offered him a position upon his completion working for their PD and for the county

it is his dream job

that he never would have had
if he didn't sacrafice to put our needs 1st, our wants ahead of his own
and
i couldn't be more proud of my amazing guy

sometimes life hands us surprised and God answers our prayers in completely wonderfully unexpected way

[Jack_Three_Beans]

Oh boyoo, Bradley, you are stirring up a hornets nest.

; )

Let me address this, because it is VERY important.

I do not want to disappoint you or let you down, especially after all the time you have spent trying to help me.

Fukc me. Fukc Cat. Fukc trapt, Bworl, Mach, Pilot, and even Fig.
Don't do this for us. Jezz man.
Letting me down?
Dissappointing me?

Bradey...man...

Any idea what is coming next?

Bradley, do not let yourself down, do not dissappoint you.
First and foremost.

Do not let your children down or dissappoint them.

How do you think your current course of action is going to stack up to that advice...which by the way is GOOD advice.

I have a few things for you to do or ponder.

Become a fan of divorce busting on FB. You are worried that your whole world will know? Well buddy, they sure as sure are going to find out soon enough...better to be seen as the trying to prevent it don't you think. Sides alot of good advice and friends on that fan list if you look.

You might be special, the problem when people start telling you you're different is you start believing your own press. That somehow you're better.

Are you?

Maybe.

Prove it.

Not for me, or anyone else here.

Prove it to you, to your satisfaction, and your bar, for yourself, shoul dbe higher than anyone else can set it.

[figgeroni]

even Fig