K4D It's a Wonderful Life

[K4D]

I won't lie to her if she asks. I am just not giving up information unnecessarily. I am taking it and handling it on my own. I intend to prevail on this.

Kevin

[K4D]

Well, I spent all night last night going through tutorials and all morning today as well. I am still going through them and I have to say my brain is starting to fry a little. lol. But keeping on I shall.

I have had brief seconds of thinking about W and wondering how she is doing. I have also had brief seconds of just wishing I could call her and say hi. But I won't as I am pretty sure she has no interest or she would call me and say hi.

I wonder if she knows that I still love her. Certainly she has to.

Back to studying.

Kevin

[25yearsmlc]

Well, I spent all night last night going through tutorials and all morning today as well. I am still going through them and I have to say my brain is starting to fry a little. lol. But keeping on I shall.

I have had brief seconds of thinking about W and wondering how she is doing. I have also had brief seconds of just wishing I could call her and say hi. But I won't as I am pretty sure she has no interest or she would call me and say hi.

I wonder if she knows that I still love her. Certainly she has to.

Back to studying.

Kevin

Yes she knows you still love her, so no, she does not wonder. Do not call her. Stay on track. Don't lose focus. It's been a problem for you since all this began. So don't repeat that mistake. If there's a chance for a recon, it starts with you being a man on your own two feet - so I agree with your approach handling it on your own. To me, CG is right on this issue. It's part of just handling your own responsibilities and has nothing to do with your w, kids or her or you and OPs. It is not the same as lying and pretending to be going to work when you're at the unemployment office. No one is suggesting you lie. That would be another matter. If she asks, tell her the truth and that you're handling it. No problem, happens to lots of folks lately.

But why on earth should you volunteer a "defeat" to her that may not effect her or the kids if you find something else? Would you tell her every time you get chewed out at work- B/C "it's honest"...? No, it's not needed info. I don't get that. I just don't see it as equivalent to her bringing OM into your kids' lives AND pretending it's not what it is.. Just my .02 but I think CG is spot on. Anyhow, again, good luck,


J-

[K4D]

Thanks 25.

I appreciate it.

Kevin

[K4D]

I think I am burnt out on studying for the next 2 hours. Taking a mental break.

I haven't heard back on either of my 2 prospects today. That is ok. They may be busy.

Kevin

[K4D]

Well,

W just informed me that she landed a job. No need to worry about her. I told her that is great news and that I am happy for her. I know it is a big relief.

Hopefully I am next.

Kevin

[K4D]

ewww I am going to get 2x4'd for this. But that is ok.

W texted me back saying she is relieved as she didn't want to have to ask for financial help. I texted her back and said, makes sense. I would have helped you. I wouldn't let you go under.

She texted back and says she knows and she appreciates it.

Kevin

[Startingover2]

ewww I am going to get 2x4'd for this. But that is ok.

W texted me back saying she is relieved as she didn't want to have to ask for financial help. I texted her back and said, makes sense. I would have helped you. I wouldn't let you go under.

She texted back and says she knows and she appreciates it.

Kevin

Yep...your gonna get 2x4'd!

You cannot care how she is financially! This was here choice.

[K4D]

I know SO2. But all in all it wouldn't have mattered anyways since she did land another job and is going to be just fine.

W picked up both kids today so I drove to her house after work to pick them up. W went on to tell me about her job and that she still has other interviews as well. Apparently the one she took is a 6 month contract. But she has a 3rd interview with a company that if they say yes on that one Friday, it will be a permanent job. So anyways she starts telling me to let her know if I have any questions or if I need any answers or help for interview questions I am about to face because she can tell me what she has already faced. I said thanks and I am good. I said I have been doing my own research and getting up to speed. I told her a few things I had been looking at and she hadn't thought of those and is going to look into them as well.

Then she had to head off to quoir after I signed the title to the van over to her and I asked how that was working and she explained. I said me and the girls will come hear you sing sometime. She said ok and was happy.

Ok. Major no no's in the world of DBing today. But things were received very positively from her both times. And she really seems to be showing an interest in wanting to help me land a better position.

I know what CG says that it is only so she can basically file without a conciounce. But I don't know for sure that is the case. Why would she care about my job sitch when it comes to filing? If she wants out, she will get out. My job I wouldn't think would matter.

I know I am getting a bit excited here and I shouldn't be reading anything into these interactions. But there are just some real change of attitudes going on lately with regard to how she is interacting with me. And she is going back to church and singing in the church quoir on top of it. She is friendlier these days. Before when this started, she wouldn't have anything to do with helping me land a better position. Flat out refused and was still going forward with the D. That is why I question it this time. She still hasn't said a word about D. Nada.

I know God is softening her. But I am not going to fool myself into thinking a reconciliation is just around the corner either. It could still be a long time out. I can't see the future. But I am putting my faith and trust in God.

It just seems like things are really improving between us since September 2008. Granted she still isn't calling me to say hi or anything. But the fact that we can joke and do things as a family now and with no real tension like it used to be is an improvement. Since the beginning of December, interactions with her have really started getting better for the most part. After today I am going to back off again as I may have jumped the gun just a bit.

I guess I just wanted her to know that I really do care about her and love her for her.

One thing I have to do is keep up PMA and just focus on my job hunt and what I need to do there.

But I definitely praise God that interactions are getting better between us.

Kevin

[K4D]

Nobody else would have rescued her financially had the worst come and I think she knows that.

Kevin