So you are fighting a career change because of your wife? Stay where you are to spite her?
Instead of seeing the positives?
Take your W out of the equation. There is no W but you have these boys. Would you stay in a job 4 hours away from them, when you could basically be just as happy, maybe even more so, you never know, if they were the only thing you had to consider?
"Acceptance doesn't mean resignation. It means understanding that something is what it is and there's got to be a way through it."--Michael J. Fox