You betcha this is hard work. The emotions of it all run amuck, and we are sometimes just struggling to get through them as best we can. I talk as though the house and everything is still both of ours. I hate it when he says he's "going home" to his apt. He usually says "I'm going to bed." He has been good about doing things around the house for me. I want him to miss home. Lately there has not been alot of oportunity to have get togethers at our house as we are always down the street at our D's house helping them remodle.We all bond there though and I feel like we are a family again. We do alot of laughing and joking around. Our youngest S and D both have great sense of humors and we have alot of laughs and good times. I want him home but like you, I'm afraid. What if I'm not ready and I can't control my fears? I might run him off with all my doubts. I feel I have to trust him more than I do right now before he comes home and that will just take time. Our S needs more time also. He says he does not want to go through all the drama again of him leaving. Can't blame him-neither do I. I don't think my H is ready either. We have not discussed it. I suppose when the time is right it will come up. Its one of those bittersweet things. The house is not the same without him, but I've been where he's there and did not want to be and it was terrible. Next time he comes home I want it to be a forever thing. I hope it does not take forever for it to be a forever thing! LOL! Rachael
