Your right she chooses not to have feelings for me. Why? I do not know don't think she really knows. But I have stuck it out a long time as you know, much longer than I thought I would.
This time alone may give me the chance to explore my feeling and maybe they are not as strong for her as I think they are. It may just be that we have been together for 22 years and it is a comfort thing for me. Maybe I'm a little scared of being alone after all this time. I'm not sure but I guess I will find out and I need to use this time to really do some hard looking at what I want and what I need and go from there.
This song keeps going through my head, "I poured it on and I poured it out. I tried to show you just how much I care. I'm tired of word and I'm to horse to shout but you've been cold to me so long I'm crying icicles instead of tears."
It sums up where I am. I'm tired of fighting for my M alone. I just don't seem to have it in me anymore.
