Don't present your R goals to her either. At some point in the future, you will set goals together. Right now she's not interested, and that would be seen as pursuing.

Most of what your W did/said is WAS script. My H said many of the same things, including that he would NEVER be able to have feelings for me again. It was too late, yada yada. He was also suspicious of my changes, thought I was doing it to manipulate him, etc. I just said, "I'm sorry you feel that way, just working on myself," and kept on stepping.

The key, now, is to keep working on YOU. Your W is going to poke at and test you to "prove" this is all a ruse. You're going to have to hold the line and respond differently in the heat of the moment. You know your triggers (and so does your W); start planning now about how you're going to handle things differently. If you need help, post it here.

SD

Me: 40
H: 43
H had EA from 2/06-9/06
Bomb 5/06
Piecing since 9/2006
3/2008: Boundary setting
7/2009: Boundary crossing~dropped my own bomb.
8/2010: Marriage finally on track!