I sense irony here! Poor choice of words on my part. I have been GAL-ing. I'm gone most times, connecting with old friends, making new ones and picking up new hobbies.
LOL! Good for you, yeah I sensed that but wanted to get across how important all that GAL stuff really is. Not to sound harsh but life must go on and it can, even if you're waiting to see how all this plays out.
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Don't get me wrong, there are lots of tears cried in private and a lot of cursing H out while I am alone, but I'm trying to stay calm and keep it all together. Fake it 'til you make it right? Some days are better than others.
Excellent! You must get this all out, it is a process. You are absolutely correct in not letting him see this. Exactly, some days ARE better than others. Those tough days are the days you dig a little deeper. They get shorter and less frequent as time goes on.
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The funny thing is, I heard about affairs in our circle of friends and I always said to myself, "I would never take that and I would leave him so fast his head would spin". Sounds cheesy, but I really know what unconditional love is for perhaps the first time in my life.
It's easy to speculate having never been in this position. Forgiveness is key and it is done daily as well. You have to keep reminding yourself of this too when the anger starts to creep in.
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Why else would I continue to keep standing up for this M? Also, I think I love myself more than I ever have before, only realizing this after detaching and realizing my H's affair and MLC was about him and not all my fault. I blamed myself initially and scrutinized my shortcomings to the point I could barely function during a day. I had always been independent, but I lost a little bit of that when I got married. I've rediscovered that independence again and know that I can make it on my own if I have to.
Just a few things that I have learned so far from this journey.... At least there is a silver lining to every sh*t storm!
Perfect! You sound wonderful right now. Take it one day at a time and stay focused on you.
