Moving on with my life!

[25yearsmlc]

not to quibble Gabby, but why not enforce her own rule now, as it seems so reasonable? If HE doesn't like it, let HIM take her to court and she can show the journal and documentation of his lovely timing, or lack thereof...and his excuses.

Let her show and tell the judge "your honor, X H says since he will NEVER know what his schedule is like until-- DURING the time, um, (btw, I Guess that eliminates ANY chance of HIM getting custody b/c he cannot 1-manage to see her often and 1- cannot even manage to KNOW if he'll see her, until right before the moment it happens and 3- cannot manage to spend much of the time with her anyhow, not even 3 hours a week with her...if you EVER Worry about losing custody to him, you are nuts. I'd laugh out loud at ANYONE who repeats it and reassure your children "IT AIN'T GONNA HAPPEN"...EVER....)

Back to earth...so yeah, sure, tell the judge FOR YOUR X h..."your honor,
X h was wondering if it's okay and fair and reasonable for ME, a mother OF OTHER CHILDREN AS WELL, to wait and wait until IF & when he calls before during or after his ONE limited visit -- or a non-visit/no show---for me and the baby to know if he is coming and for how long IF he knows b/c sometimes he shows up, and then leaves after 10 min, even though we've waited and NOT earned money or done something fun or met other people or GAL....and He just wants to check that it's okay with you, and that it's mature and normal and adult and fair and fatherly right???"

It's a lousy thing to do S2, and not showing up and or, not calling ahead, is just plain rude and thoughtless to an extreme. How on earth will your tiny daughter feel when this matters to her and she knows it? Nip this crap in the bud now, for HER.

Otherwise This would mean, S2, that in theory, he can have a visit scheduled for 3 pm-6, and not call or show up until say 4:30, and then, again without notice, say "I have to go NOW" and leave at say 4:40"...correct?
And you have no problem allowing this to continue? No court is going to say you have to do this. Are his kids in the hospital with terminal illnesses? I don;t get it....SO in theory he can also, NOT call and, then, suddenly show up at 5:50 and GOD forbid you say a word...and he can stay until 6-- and then leave just after she says the word "daddy" or something, and then he can just go and you are supposed to sit and wait in the house or pre-arranged place waiting- NOT entitled to a call or advance notice from him b/c his arms are broken? His ears don't work? you live in a bubble that gets no phone service or or or he just doesn't give a crap?...and you think this is normal or okay? IT IS NOT EITHER... Boy I sure would not care if he said I was being cold or B%$#@ on the texting....he is in NO position to even know what is rude or kind b/c he's clueless and thoughtless to some crazy level I haven't seen in a long time.

I have heard nothing about this man that makes me think you should make any effort at reconciliation. OMG that's the first time I've been able to say that here in almost 4 years...wow...sorry...

Um, the judge will say "NO" or words to that effect...But you don't have to wait for the judge. IF your X h goes to court for some change in custody, with THESE Facts...he'll lose the little he has.

I could be wrong but I say Start the new life now. Set a reasonable boundary. stop putting your life on hold.
Tell your x h you can't wait like this anymore. If he can't give you notice, you'll have to carry on. How on earth are you supposed to ever get a job or go to a class? OR MOVE ON??? Don't you see- you both are using this as an excuse to keep doing the crazy dance?
That's my take on it. I'm not sure what you are getting out of this, but he sure is a jerk who gets away with a lot. Does he look like Brad Pitt or what?

Why do you put up with this? You sound smart and healthy but this has gone on so long....it's not healthy and you are in charge of this life of yours so take charge of it. Take responsibility for your happiness b/c guess what? No one else will.
j-